The noise.

I'm so sick of noise. I want silence. No silence in sight today. So I'll drown out the noise with more noise, cancelling it out, as though my own worlds come into being. CDs. Cars. People. Too noisy for life to go on without a change. One voice will be drowned out. Another will take its place. The pigs of corparate america. To sell products, to move their units, forcing more noise on me. I stand as they flood my life with meaningless items. Useless noise. The end wont come to it, just more noise. Their screams keep coming and our ears keep bleeding but the masses keep begging for more. Churchs without faith, adding to the noise. Open the offering box give untill it hurts. Faith is selling out, true lovers dieing. Left to the abyss. As they run to death, pain suffering, the rest will follow. And I'm left to myself, more noise will come but for now, I will leave myself to my thoughts and turn on the radio.

- Inspired by Project 86

Well I went to worship practice last night, I think I'm catching on to the way the main sings. Shes kinda hard to follow at first but I'm on to her ways...

Project 86s new album has blown me away. Once again they have the lyrics for me, the music for me (as well as post-hardcore fans) One song has me disapointed in the lyric way, but its only a few lines lame. makes the song limp a little. They make up for it with screams and better lyrics in the end.I'm telling you post-hardcore fans this album is awsome! Definately one for your collection. 9.2/10 just cause a few lyrical problems. http://www.purevolume.com/project86 has about half the album avalible to listen too. Leaves out two of the best songs on the CD though.

I am so happy right now. Project 86s cd (which I preorderd) came today! and its not supose to come out till tomorrow! I feel oh so happy!

To cheer ya'll up...

I was feeling down today. I still do. but this guy cheered me up a bit. and to share the same joy...

"Hello Everybody" By Pigeon John

The musical post of joy happiness and old guys.

I love video codes. So I'm gonna put 3 whole videos for you all! first off, for you kin,
"Chapstick, Chapped Lips And Th..." By Relient K


Fact about this one, Matt (lead singer) said that when he did mouth to mouth with the old guy, the old guys mouth tasted like old cheese. (no old people were hurt in the westling match)

And for my mother
"Alive" By P.O.D.

Just click the link mom.... I know how much you liked Alive. so I found the video! (dont deny it, you sing along everytime you hear it)

And finaly for you post-hardcore fans who are feeling gipped...
"Dictatorship Vs. Democracy" By Staple


I couldnt find a project 86 video code. Darn you all...

and Jason upton doesnt do music videos so you wont hear my softer side...

and thats about it.

The law of Influence

Influence. Its a scary thing. Can be used for almost any purpose, when you do anything, you were influenced in some way to do that. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, trying to think of a time I hadn't been influenced into doing something. Theres no way you werent influenced into doing something. If you went to eat something, you were influenced by your stomache to eat. Most influence comes from people you look up too. I remember seeing a harry potter display in costco, a young boy was wide eyed looking at it. I said something to my friend at my side, "Ugh harry potter is so lame." That young child sat for a minute thinking, then his dad came and asked if he wanted one of the books, and he said " no harry potter is lame!" I didn't think I would be so much influence to some kid I had never seen or would ever see again. Who knows, he coulda waited till we left and came back and grabbed one of those books, but I still had the influence over him. People look up to maturity, they listen to it, they base their desitions on it. It has more influence then anything else. I mean, thats what I do, I'm a people, at least thats what they tell me... I'm tired and kinda not thinking quite right yet so I'm done for now.

*cough*

I'm sick. end of story. the computer hurts my eyes so I'll be going now.

school of doom...

well, I'm looking at my classes I'm taking. Theres too many. I take 14 classes each week. thats 14 different classes. 4 of which are out of home classes, they assign a lot of homework... I'm having trouble keeping up. its not like when you pile on stuff you learn anything. heck you barely even live through it. Its not like you care about anything your learning. just do it, get it done, go on, and repeat. only classes I like are spanish and writing. out of 14 classes... I think chemistry is gonna be a bit more fun later on. But for now thats my list. 2 whole classes. I was so happy the first week, getting everything done... doing extra... having fun....

ugh so tired. I havent been sleeping a whole lot lately... lik 15 hours the past week, I'm like gonna callasp and every ones gonna freak and be like "oh no!" I'm going back down to lebanon today too, I hope I can make it...

Ohh the colorss....

I had surgury on my toe this morning. wow. The doctor shoved the anestetic needle in my toe almost like, 1.5 inches in there. and I had three full needles of it. so I'm like, High I geuss. Every time I turn my head everything flashes. It gives me a headache. and makes me disoriented. which is prolly why I'm talking about it in this post. My toe hurts really badly. its feels like its gonna fall off, and also feels like some ones still digging in it.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Spanish today again, not sure what to think. Kinda tiredish. played a bit of halo last night. It was funny playing through again. I played around a lot. Once I threw a grenade at an elite while on a bridge, and he jumped away from it ... strait off the bridge. now this bridge was about 500 feet in the air. so he kinda.. died? or maybe he'll be back , I'll have a perfect life in a small town in kansas. he'll come back, he'll come for me. I'll have to act like I dont know him. He'll show how I was once a merciless killer in the war. Killing everything, looting their bodies for grenades and guns. I'll be kicked out of the town, he'll fallow me everywhere, haunting me for my whole life! good thing its just a game. he probably died anyway. he did a belly flop.

Well my favorite band EVER has a new CD coming out! I love em. Project 86 http://www.purevolume.com/project86 , check em out. I'm totally gonna preorder this one.

Oh my...

Holy crud/crap/cow. This school year is gonna kill me, Its only the second week and I'm having trouble keeping up with everything. You may think "well its only a case of the mondays". well its not. I thought of that already. I cant even continue this post cause I have 3 assignments due tomorrow at nine. ok I'll post whenever I have time >.<

Cant you take all of me?

Well, my youngest cousin finally flipped. He went after my uncle with a knife "with intent to kill", hes now in juvi. They got on his computer afterwards and found pictures of mutilated people on it. I already knew he was gone. It hurts when this happens so close to home. When I saw him last, he acted strange, had a killer look in his face. he even brought a hatchet with him over to my grammas while I was there. He was fiddling with it, it scared me. I swore he was gonna jump at me with it, I was ready to run if I had to.

On another topic, which happens to be very similar, I had a nightmare. now you may say "so what?" but uh... I dont have nightmares. ever. I can watch any horror movie, hear any story, go camping with kin, nothing gives me nightmares. Well, the night mare went like this...

I was standing in a kitchen, looked kinda old, there were about 4 people in it talking and working. Then there was a kid, looked about my age, picked up a knife, he started feeling it in his hands, then stabbed some one in the back, and I was quick on my feet to grab another knife and jab it in him, he turned and killed some one else, completely ignoring the fact that I just shoved a foot long blade into him. so I burst out the nearest door and sprinted down the road. Ran into my house and then sat down. Went out a bit later to talk to some one about it. I found some people in a library and was about to talk to one and the kid popped around the cornor and I turned running full speed back down the road, hearing the pittyfull cries of the people in the library. I ran into an old house which had about 10 men working on things inside. I continued through then turned to see the boy stabbing them and I continued running. Then I came to a cave and started in, and I saw a pack of wolves, I turned to run back and saw the boy coming towards me. The wolves started at me but stopped when they saw the kid and ran from him. and he stabbed one on its way out. I ran past him with the wolves and the wolves lead me away from him and I woke up in a cold sweat. My cat was on me looking a bit peaved about me moving. and I heard dad driving out the driveway to work, musta been like 4. So I just layed there till about 7.
it was that was thursday night/ friday morning. I havent slept a full night sleep in three days. wensday I couldnt sleep and last night I couldn't either. so I'm tired and I have to do stuff so I'm done for now.

ok so it was just two people, I was miss-informed as usaul. I got my room, like, CLEAN. I thought I had carpet this whole time. I even got my closet clean, thats never happend in the history of my room. When we moved in it was messy, but clean... scary clean...

the visitors!

Well I'm too tired and busy to really blog long, so I'll just post a song I like at the end to make up for it. I have to clean my room, and closet, whiiich, if you know my room, doesnt happen very often. in fact, I've never had both cleaned at once. Reason why is we have ANOTHER like 4 people gonna stay with us and they need my room. where will I sleep if all the rooms are taken including the living room? Easy question! outside! that and I need to do school along with this. the room thing will take more then an hour, I even have 4 cds ready to listen to while I do it. thats like, a 3 hours worth right there and I'm pretty sure I'll end up pulling another one. oh heres the song...

DICTATORSHIP VS DEMOCRACY By staple

Vicious cycle of life: I find that I kill myself every time I look away from you But I often gaze another moment. Incited scars reopen,Bleeding again, and they’re bleeding at my request

Freely given, and we choose the choice to lose (now we know) As these scars are screaming at me – just why we’ve chosen poorly.Could it be our chance to see why we believe that we need you instead of following numbly?

Ride on, ride strong, soldier, march to the dictated beat. Have you ever known how victory feels unless you have felt defeat?Don’t want the pain of free will stolen and mindless mechanical will chosenCherish the loss – there is no concept of gain without cost.

I fall, and I fall freely. Incited scars are bleeding and now I believe. I freely believe.When I hit the ground and bloody palms I raise,The arms that pick me up convince me there’s no better place.

You can download/listen to the song here,http://www.purevolume.com/staple, just be aware its kinda loud.

When fire froze

Yesterday I went off to some school thingy, I was only there for 2 classes, one wasnt as exciting as I expected, the other was more exciting then I expected. The writing class was all girls cept for me, but for some reason that one was more fun. Spanish today, thats gonna be really fun. I love that class, it was like the best class last year.


And I forgot to blog about the FoT (festival of tents). Its a conference doohicky down where I used to live. So I went, it was nice to see everyone again. Weird thing is they acted like I never moved, like I was still part of the church. Then saw a friend of mine who I used to be like best friends with, havent seen him in 2 years. That was awsome, he got a job at the skate center, which was my dream job, the lucky bum. all the staff there knew and loved me, I loved that place. I played roller hockey there for 5 years. I miss that place, its weird though. I almost have more friends down there then up here, Its not like I'm reclusive up here or anything, I *try* to meet people. Thing is, down there, I have a whole church of like 300 people who know and mostly like me, plus all the other people who know me from other places. I really missed them. I gotta go make more friends up here......

Yay its school time!

ugh its school time. Well actaully school isnt bad, its the cycle, summer just slips by without you noticing and then you see a "Back to school" sale at fred meyer and laugh "what fools""its still summer!". by then it sets in that school starts in a few days. and you start crying. Then they laugh "what a fool". and next comes The easy streak. Where you start class, and it all seems so easy, giving you a poor impression of the weeks to come. Math starts out with addition multiplication and subtaction. your thinking "wait this seems easier then last year, I musta become a genous over the summer!" and while your dreamin of how smart you supposedly are the rest of the class is learning of the multiplication of square roots. How foolish you are indeed. As if this isnt bad enough, if you actaully pay attension you'll be nest to some one whose not. drawing doodles and singing to the latest briteny spears song. yes even boys do this when they are in school. Thanks for reading my ignorant view of the world around me. I'm so blissfull.



PS I know multipliiiiiing square roots really isnt too hard, it was just the only thing I could think of.